hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
