its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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