The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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