My brain says no but my pants say off.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize