I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
high people should be assigned attendants
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
