I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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