Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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