Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
