apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
