guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
