its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
