Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
