id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm both gender and math confused
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize