3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You pole danced in your parka.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I can feel your judgement through the phone
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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