Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Ketchup is God's man juice
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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