at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
