it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
