Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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