You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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