Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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