They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
