How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
