I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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