I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
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