I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
