Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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