Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
