I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
