I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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