What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize