Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize