My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
