what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
