1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
