i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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