Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I could make wine with my vomit
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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