you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
