Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
