dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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