never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize