I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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