actually, I'm a sock model
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Randomize