HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
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