wakey wakey hands off snakey
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
