why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I enjoy the company of your penis
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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