Do you still have your period?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize