I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
