Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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