YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize