i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
