so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
