Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize
