I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
