I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize