She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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