Do you still have your period?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
