You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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