I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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