the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
