i don't like sucking hair
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
