3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
