I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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