I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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