This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
