We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
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