hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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